For the next step, you’ll be taken to a website to complete the donation and enter your billing information. You’ll then be redirected back to LARB. To take advantage of all LARB has to offer, please create an account or log in before joining The Los Angeles Review of Books is a c 3 nonprofit. Donate to support new essays, interviews, reviews, literary curation, our groundbreaking publishing workshop, free events series, newly anointed publishing wing, and the dedicated team that makes it possible. Mixing documentary modes with dating show ridicule, it maintains and masks the most insidious injury arranged by marriage: caste. In the arranged marriage institution, proposals are familial, not individual.
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To her surprise, the year-old met her future husband and is set to get married in January next year. Mumbai-based Anindita Dey—married for over a year now — also met her husband through her parents. However, Anindita makes it clear that while it was her parents who set up the meeting, the final decision was completely hers. Louis Superman, which she shared with Sami Khan. Because Indian Matchmaking follows matchmaker Sima Taparia analysing families and boys and girls to find suitable matches.
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Because Indian Matchmaking follows matchmaker Sima Taparia breaking free from the regressive patriarchal mind-set of society, this show.
The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences.
This prejudiced treatment includes, but is hardly limited to, workplace discrimination in the United States. For example, the state of California sued the tech company Cisco in June for allegedly failing to protect a Dalit employee from discrimination by his higher-caste Brahmin managers. When a popular show like Indian Matchmaking neglects this alarming fact of the Indian American experience, it quietly normalizes caste for a global audience.
Contrary to what some viewers might think, the caste system is an active form of discrimination that persists in India and within the Indian American diaspora. One of the primary functions of arranged marriage is maintaining this status quo. That explains why people in dominant castes often carry out brutal violence against their own family members who dare to marry outside their caste, particularly if a partner is Dalit. Last year, in Maharashtra, a father reportedly doused his daughter and her Dalit husband in kerosene and lit them on fire to condemn their intercaste marriage.
These attacks are part of a pattern of families punishing relatives for rejecting marriages arranged on the basis of caste.
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It has been a few months into trying out the prospect of arranged marriage. The decision came with the desire to find a decent, understanding companion I could share my life with. At the outset, let me tell you the process of finding a suitable match in this structure requires a considerable investment of time and energy.
So after much deliberation, I finally decided to take the plunge. As an independent, working woman of today, why did I choose to do this? Not because of a lack of faith in the ability to fall in love organically but an inkling that perhaps sometimes love is not just enough. The structure of arranged marriage, on the contrary, was allowing me to pick and choose the man who suited my criteria — including emotional intelligence — and help me eliminate apparent risks in a relationship like any toxicity that sometimes go unnoticed, ignored or encountered later in an otherwise organic romantic bond.
This, of course, does not go to suggest that an arranged marriage would turn out to be risk-free, but an early red flag gives you the chance to opt out of the match without any baggage. Perhaps the fact that we see progressive and successful men and women of today as shown in the series still going ahead with the set-up challenges the argument in a way. And we millennials are familiar with such people or are trying out the option ourselves, whether we want to admit it or not.
Again, if someone is opting for an arranged marriage, it is not always because they were forced by their parents. On matrimonial websites, many men and women handle their own profiles and are able to exercise agency in choosing the right match.
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This, of course, does not go to suggest that an arranged marriage would turn out to be risk-free, but an early red flag gives you the chance to opt.
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Skip to Content. People are matched in hopes of finding suitable marriage partner; marriage is marker of success in matchmaking process. Much of the advice given to women when trying to find compatible matches can be considered sexist; preferences for other attributes can be interpreted as racist or classist both within Western and Indian circles.
Matchmaking horoscope in hindi. Enter the birth chart, free of online and girl are Kundali matching, kundli, monthly yearly horoscopes ablemish ina.
Critics accuse the show of stereotyping and commodifying women, lacking diversity and promoting a backwards vision of marriage where astrologers and meddling parents are more influential than the preferences of brides and grooms. They complain that the series, which follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she jets between Mumbai and the U. In fact, the real problem may be their discomfort with the way marriage works in India, with social stability prized over individual happiness.
A small fraction still practices child marriage, with some communities holding betrothal ceremonies as soon as a girl is born. At the other end of the spectrum, there is growing acceptance of queer relationships, divorce and even avoiding marriage altogether. But most Indian marriages are still arranged. Even college-educated, urban, middle-class Indians show a strong preference to marry within caste.